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Rambles and Writings

Oh boy, has it been a long time since my last post!  So much has been going on…and yet not that much.  I’ll explain…

To begin, let me say that Thanksgiving break was wonderful and much needed!  So much good food… 😉 And sleep, ah! That glorious forgotten experience!  And of course, being able to spend many days with friends and family at home was truly great.  But it was odd too… I felt disconnected.  College is truly a psychological experience.  First you’re taken out of your comfort zone, then you have so much to do in this new place that you can’t think about missing it…then things start to slow down and you do miss it, but you also like this new place, and you keep having to spend more time here–and-and– Ya.  It’s confusing.  I felt like I couldn’t relax at home…like I had work to do and places to be all the time. X-) Oh my…college has scarred me already.  But by the end of the week, I was well rested and going back was made easier.  Before break, one reason for my not-posting, was because I’d felt so discouraged and dull for the whole week before….like I had no energy at all in me.  But break has revived me and I’m so close to my next one (almost just a week!).

But what has kept me busy recently was the final filming of the short film I’m in and the happy news that the film made it to the premire!  I got to spend a day out w/ my girlfriends just shopping for our families and myself 😉  It was fun and nice to just chill with my peeps.

Now I’ve hit the stretch though…finals week.  I don’t have too many this week since many of my classes ended early…but it’s the big classes coming up.  Bleh.  😉 But oh well.  Many have done it before me and lived!  Encouraging enough of a thought 😉  I’m excited for this week and for break and a new semester!  I feel so much more positive these past few weeks, especially since I’ve finally been able to get mysel into a solid habit of devotions with my Bible.  Just knowing more of God and His love truly does bring peace in the most stressful of times 🙂

But anywho, my dear roomies are going to bed and I need to be too.  Gotta let this hair dry so I can see how it turns out (cause I dyed it a darker brown…for the first time…scary) 😉

(sigh, glad I did this! Needed to just blab for a bit about me, myself and I.  I’m starting to feel schizo lol)

TTYL, over and out!

Land ho!!!

   Home, home, HOME!!!!! I’m almost there!!! 😀

   That constant thought has been one of few comforts in this long, irritating week.  Thanksgiving break couldn’t take any longer to get here.  I don’t know what it’s been about this week, but as soon as Monday hit…it felt as if I jumped into a pool of molasses.  I couldn’t seem to get anywhere and there was so much to worry about and do! But finally, Thursday shall be here within 2 hours, and then I shall be a day and a half from treking back to PA!

   Well, alot has happened since my last post (hence why I haven’t posted since!).  There was this really cool event headed up by some people in my dorm called “Fearlessly Chique”.  Eight guys on a panel, answering questions about modesty, to a room full of college girls.  Oh ya.  X-) But really, it wasn’t as awkward as it sounds.  It was very insightful and the guys on the panel were very kind and trustworthy.  They talked alot about how, even though guys are responsible for how they think, girls are definitely responsible for how they dress.  It’s good to dress modestly, not only so that you don’t cause others to think crudely, but also so that you don’t attract the wrong kind of attention.  The guys really did encourage all of the girls to dress modestly, inside and out, so that we could find a guy worthy of our attention who cared about us spiritually.  It was definitely cool to hear about all of that from a guy’s point of view, and it was very encouraging.

   Another awesome event was the speaking of Francis Chan at convocation! Oh ya, THE Francis Chan!  He was just as amazing (and even more so) than everyone told me about him!  He was so real and so passionate about helping our souls….it was amazing 🙂 He didn’t give the stereotypical Christian-author speech abou this experiences and how that helped him, etc Christians aren’t really hated for what they believe as much as how they appear socially.  And I quote “Because Christians are so weird!” (Francis Chan) 😉  He went on to say how Christians get so sucked into their own clusters and lingo that they forget how to interact w/ a culture that doesn’t understand or feel comfortable w/ that.  It’s so true!  Christians in general are so concerned w/ shoving the gospel down people’s throats that they forget that most people won’t respond to that.  With the horrible stereotype of Christians being people-haters and judgement-and-brimstone junkies, it’s a no wonder that society won’t listen!  He explained that we really need to get to know non-Christians personally, show them how real we are and how we respect them as people. If we can’t connect to them as people, how can we explain how Christ changed out lives?  Anywho, he was incredible and so inspirational!

   So, aside from the schoolwork overload and the usual college-monetary stress…things have been good….but slow.  I can’t wait to go home soon! I need real homecooking 🙂

   For now…over and out

Seeing the Unseen

Have you ever had one of those blown-out-of-the-water, slap-to-the-face, rush-of-gravity experiences that leaves you open-mouthed?  I know I just did.  I know I can’t do much to change it, but if my blog can do anything, I hope it can give some light to what I’ve just learned.

As someone who’s fascinated w/ different cultures, I’ve studied alot about the world and what goes on around it…especially its atrocities.  While I knew of the existance of child soldiers in Africa, I had no idea of the incredible magnitude, the horror or the devistation that it levels on the people.  I just got back from a film from a documentary crew who was directly involved with getting groups around the world to be aware of this issue, including the President.  In the Congo, Uganda, and other surrounding areas, a warlord named Joseph Kony kidnaps children, staring at ages as young as 5, and forces them to work in his children army.  They’re taught how to do horrible things, slaughtering entire villiages, including their own families.  Those who refuse are either killed or maimed beyond recognition.

And they’re just children.  We might view it differently if they were older adults who have developed a conscience and an idea of life, but young, innocent children are being stripped of their childhood and families…just for the sake of an insane man who craves power.  The film opened my eyes to a whole new world of pain and loss… what do these children know about what they’re doing?  What are they living for?  How do they see the world?

I myself plan to help support the Invisible Children organization in some form, especially when I procure a job…and I ask, no…beg whoever reads this blog to do something to help them to!  Help support the organization so that they can afford counselling and refugee camps for those who defect from the armies and for those who have lost families because of them.  Help send them money so that they can build radio towers to warn other villages of impending attacks.  Please help the children to come home to their families and live out normal, happy lives, not in fear or pain.  Get your friends together and support as a group, or just yourself… get your clubs and youth groups and schools and churches together!  We live in such a blessed nation.  We don’t have to fear going to sleep every night.  We don’t have to fear living w/out food and water for days because our farms and factories are being raided by rebel armies.  We don’t have to fear being captured and never seeing our families again, being made to slaughter for a madman.

Please help the Invisible Children!  Help others see them and bring them home!

p.s.  the sight for the organization is www.invisiblechildren.com

 

The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.–Abraham Lincoln
 
I have found Mr. Lincoln’s quote to be quite the truth.  Despite my often complaints about certain events or things not coming soon enough or not going away when I’d like, I wish Time went about its business a bit slower.  While I believe that I do enjoy as much of life as I can, it seems as if I look back and wish I’d taken enjoyment in a few more moments…moments that seem to vanish before I can catch them.  But of course, there is nothing to be done about time already spent, so we must press on with purpose! 
 
I suppose this whole mood has been brought on by signing up for next semester’s classes.  I can’t believe I’m just a few weeks away from being halfway done with my first year at college!  It seems like yesterday was the first day I moved in, the next day was my first test, the next the first time I crunched on the auburn carpet of leaves of autumn, and the next the first time a possibility of snow was mentioned!  And now today, I am contemplating next semester’s classes, and with that I must consider the next semester…and the next…and there’s far too much thinking and considering going on for my calm, patient taste.  I am a person of careful deliberation; I hardly do anything without overthinking it (I blessing and a curse, I know).  And on top of that, I’m highly in love with life…so everything I do must be super-overthought because it shall affect what I do in several instances!
 
Sounds stressful, huh?  Well, I’m not nearly as bad as I used to be.  I’ve come to the happy conclusion that I’m far more relaxed than I used to be.  I’m content to take a side trip, a scenic route, and enjoy what I can even if the trip doesn’t go as planned.  But I’m still very cautious…about everything.  Example A: my upcoming math class.  My degree plan says I must take a certain level of math…my ACT scores say I must take much higher…and I, the math-illiterate individual, says that I’d rather not do it at all.  Letters and words make sense in my mind…not this mumble-jumble of numbers and funny shaped lines.  But alas, I must do it.  So, that has taken up a good portion of my thought lately.  At times, I’ll have this lovely conversation in my head…
“Oh screw it!  Just pick one of the classes and work extra hard in it.  Doesn’t matter what you’re gonna take.”
“But Olivia, you must be more careful with these choises!  You have to plan this because it will affect this class later.  Also, what if you’re careless and pick a hard class and fail! Then you’ll have to take it again”
“Shut up. I don’t care.  I just want to get it over with.”
“Yes, you do care.  It’s your college degree.”
“Jerk.”
“Moron.”
And that’s usually how it goes…alot.  Sometimes with more violent words.  It’s either entertaining or painful.  I wish I was more decisive.
 
But in any case, this brings about an excellent point: I aim to spend more time living than thinking about how to live.  Not that I don’t contemplate my motives and such…you misunderstand me. I mean that there must be a point where one must simply enjoy the fact that one is alive, and not think about everything surrounding that fact.  I aim to work on that more.  For if the first semester flew by this fast, I can’t imagine what the next and the next will be like.
 
But all the same, a much more pleasant topic has been on my mind as well: how awesomely blessed I am.  This college is amazing!  So many people willing and happy to support me in all areas, especially the spiritual, so many opportunities…it truly is a wonderful place here.  I have so many wonderful friends who are so accepting of me and at the same time, encouraging me to do my best. 😉
 
Well, I must be off!  But I shall soon be back to continue lecturing on the thrills of my existance here 😉
Over and out!

 

Learning and Otherwise…

It’s rather funny, I find, how one can be very focused on learning while totally ignoring the very act of learning itself.  Example?

Me 🙂  Of course.  Currently, I am thinking much on what I have learned in the past few weeks, in many areas, and of the many areas I have been contemplating….but I am also sitting in a class, ignoring the  muddle of ideas being babbled about.  Not that I don’t like my class or that I don’t pay attention on usual occasions, but today’s one of those days where my mind is working to fast for the dull drone that’s buzzing around me.  Or it’s shutting down…. Or I have ADD.  Something like that.

But in essence, I am thinking of learning and not learning at the same time.  I’m very talented. And humble. 😉

(5 hrs later)

Ah, thank the Lord that’s over 🙂 My classes are over and I now can think again! 

I’m so happy, I’m getting a visit from my family 🙂 It’s like a little burst of energy before the final stretch of the semester. 

School’s going well, but it’s finally getting to me how much stuff I have to do.  Homework on top of filming (short film for a coms’s major’s grad project) and everything else I have to shove in… I feel overwhelmed alot, but I’m very blessed 🙂 I have so many reminders here and good friends that give me strength and encouragement to keep going.  More and more everyday, I find myself warmed by the knowledge of how blessed I am to be at Liberty University.  There’s no way I could be here but by God 🙂 

Another good (and sad) thing is that my education classes have ended for the semester.  I learned so much from my prof.  She was so sweet and open about the treats and hardships of teaching.  Although every class was a pile on of all the stuff we have to do to get our degree, I felt refreshed by it.  I feel more excited than ever to teach!  And I will always keep my goal and desire in mind: to help the students and give them a good example to follow.

In conclusion, a song form of the inspiration I got from my edu classes:  “Give me Your eyes for just one second/Give me Your eyes so I can see/Everything that I keep missin’/Give me Your love for humanity/Give me Your arms for the broken hearted/The ones who are far beyond my reach/Give me Your heart for the ones forgotten/Give me Your eyes so I can see.”–Brandon Heath

Over and out (for now)

Like a French Fry

As of today, I now have an incredible respect for deep fried foods. I know how they feel. Burnt. Dead. Too spread out. Thin. FRIED.
And then they get eaten. Munched. Chewed up. Digested. Bleh.
Yup…I can relate.
First, got up extra early to have a discussion meeting for my English paper. Then crashed for an hour. Then class. Then class. Then computer assessment test (2nd round). Failed by 3 points. Went to filming session. Film…film…film…
Yaaaahh…I’m making no sense…I’m so tired. And yet I’m awake. My body wants me to sleep….my brain wants to talk…talk…talk…talk…AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH…..
I’m just gonna go to bed. Sleep. Crash. Meh.
I’ll explain more later. Just needed to spit it all out.
So, I pity fried foods.
End of story. Aren’t ya glad you read this? Enlightened much?
Good.
🙂 ttyl

The Hole

Ya. You read the title right.  The Hole.  My dorm room = The Hole. The Box.  Legit.  Not kidding you.

For THE ENTIRE DAY Ashley and I stayed in The Hole and did large amounts of brain-frying homework.  It was marvelous.  My mind hurts.  Aaaaahhhhh….

So then, at about 6pm (yes, we had been in our room all day before), we went to the dining hall to eat, then came back, and have holed ourselves in the Hole/Box ever since.  Ya.  Whoopie.  So fun.  Durrrr…

But the good part is, most of my homework is done for the week (except for the lovely tests approaching) and Fall Break is only 17 days.  Yup…I’ve already started counting.  But overall, this week’s been good.  Went to my second football game (which we should’ve won, thank you very much to the paid-off refs. Cheaters never prosper), watched anime with Ashley (<–epic winning), and had hot pancakes at Doc’s Diner (=high light of the week).  And then…I had to pay for my ridiculously expensive background check for the teacher’s program.  It better be worth it.  I’m paying more to become a teacher than what I’ll be paid when I am one.  *sigh* but there’s no turning back now.  It’s all forward and uphill from here.

Other than that, not much has been done this week.  Homework, homework, homework…yaaaaahhhh…. I know, I live a very exciting life.

Oh ya! Exciting part of the week! Rick Perry, one of the Republican candidates for 2012 president, spoke at convo! OMG that was awesome!  He’s really cool and honest and simple…a good people’s president. I liked him 🙂  It felt so cool to have someone like him come to LU.

And ya, other than that, the week’s been slow.  If anything beyond thrilling happens, I’ll post again this week.

TTYL

Fav quote of the week: “Get that thing out of my face.”  “It’s not in your face, it’s in my hand.” “Well, then get that thing in your hand out of my face!” –Sherlock Holmes 😉

   Well, needless to say, I am without a doubt imperfect and usually suseptible to being wrong.  And thank goodness for that!

   So, despite my little drama fit over the weekend (I like to think it was due to overload of homework), God has been able to take my complaining attitude and still give me something good.  Our new roommate, Ellee, is so cool!  She’s really sweet and nice and funny, and definitely not what we feared we would end up with (lots of pink, partying, boy-drama, etc…)!  I feel like such a jerk for wining before…especially when I didn’t know the circumstances.  She had to be moved closer to the Vines center because she’s on a sports team, and she really didn’t have a choice in the matter; they just kinda…moved her.

   She’s really great though and I really feel bad for my major freakouts…  Just me being selfish and stupid.  But I am very grateful for her company. 🙂  She likes to read (MEGA BONUS) and she’s in love with dried fruit (SUPER MEGA BONUS) and she doesn’t like excess of pink (OMG FREAKING MEGA BONUS).  She’s pretty cool and I have a feeling we’ll be good friends.

   It’s funny…lately in New Testament Bible we’ve been reading on the disciples, and kinda picking on how they always doubted Jesus.  Well, who are we–excuse me–who am I to say that I’m better?  In the Bible, He says that He has plans to prosper and not to harm, and yet I freaked out and became caught up in myself, when I should’ve known that it was all for my good.  🙂 Yet another life lesson at college.

   Well, I’ve got a butt-load of homework to tackle, so I’ll be blogging more later this week about what’s been up.

   TTYL

   Fav Verse of the Day: “For with God nothing will be impossible.” –Luke 1:37

**sidenote: Plain and simple… “elementary”.  NOTHING is impossible with God.  He can do all things because He’s God.  Nothing less.  🙂 Thank God that He’s God.

The Next Day…

Ok so, upon further evaluation, I might’ve been a little overdramatic last night.  Just a little.  Now that I’ve had adaquete sleep and time to mull over the shocking news, I feel a little more confident that I may be able to properly react to this whole mess.

I’ve come to the determination that, no matter how nasty she is, that I will behave and be kind.  And if she’s really nice, then that will definitely be cool. 

I guess that my only problem, that will probably be my problem for awhile, is that so many people knew and didn’t say ANYTHING.  Ya know, it might’ve been cool to find out SOONER than LAST NIGHT.  But other than that…the situation looks bareable. 

I suppose my other sadness is that the close bonding Ashley and I have been doing for the past month is going to feel a bit interrupted…awkward…  But nothing’s perfect and lots of good things come to an end.  Just gotta keep on trucking.  *sigh*  I dunno…I feel wrong for being so discontent, but I can’t help but justify myself.  I don’t want to complain…but I feel angered that this was just throw at us.  *sigh*  (I’ve been doing alot of that lately), but, God never gives us things we can’t handle…at least, with Him at our side.

Fav Song of the Day: “Oh LORD, You care for all the earth/The flowers and the birds/You provide their daily bread/And how much more/You have cared for me?/You’ve met my greatest need/ When Christ hung on the tree/So I know that, You’ll provide for me.//So God, I trust in you,  I trust in you, I trust in you/In whatever I may face/I will trust Your sovereign grace/I will always trust in You.”– You’ll Provide for Me – Mark Altrogge

OMW

Sooo….I don’t know if I can talk in complete sentenses yet…I’m a little shocked. 

About an hour ago, with absolutely no warning, a girl knocked on Ashley and I’s door and said that tomorrow she’d be moving in w/ us.  {removed section due to shame of writer}…so we just found out…and I’m not quite sure how to respond.  Blogging, like journaling, helps me channel my feelings and emotions…and right now, I’m pretty dang emotional. 

I mean, I feel so selfish, getting upset over this.  There is an extra bed in our room, but it’s a freaking month after school!  We were told that we wouldn’t get anyone till Spring….  So we’re still in shock.  I mean, we just got everything figured out and placed…and we’re really similar, and the new girl…well…she’s seems very very social.  Not that I’m not, I’m just very into studying in my dorm and reading.  And I feel like I’m judging her too soon {removed}.  I really loved just rooming with my best friend and now…gosh…I have no clue what it’s going to be like.  I just wish they would’ve told us…even a day in advance.  {removed} Oh wait, I forgot…we found out THE NIGHT BEFORE!

*sigh*….Ok…I feel a little better.  I’m just soooo….confused.  Frustrated. Ticked.  Selfish.  Angry.  Bashing head into wall.  Ticked. Ticked. Ticked.

I just wish things could’ve been the way they were.  Now we have to move everything around again and shove things into closets…{removed}…I hope she’s not super girly…I hope she’s not loud…Oh Lord on high…. X-(  So, I need alot of prayer. We need alot of prayer.  This is gonna be hard.  I’ll post after our first day w/ her…tomorrow…

Over and out,

Liv

**sidenote: all {removed} sections were removed due to my own shame at re-reading my post.  My new roomie is really great (as in amazing) and I feel really horrible about freaking out like that.  So, for those who are reading this for the first time, you didn’t miss anything.  Just me being a selfish jerk. X-P